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#GatekeepersofMen Series

Episode 7

Hey Man, Are you to blame?

Hey Man, Are you to blame?

September is Sexual Health Awareness Month. 

I recently ran into an article published at the NY Times titled “Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause”.

What really caught my attention was the second part of the title “Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner”.    Now,  if you are a man above 45 years old, and you are reading this, get ready! This post will create a PARADIGM SHIFT in your relationship and attitude towards not only your partner and sexual health, but your OVERALL HEALTH.    Yes, believe it or not, research proves that sex is a reflection of your mental, cardiovascular and overall health.

In the article the author referenced new research that revealed that “…often, it’s the health of a woman’s partner that determines whether she remains sexually active and satisfied with her sex life.”

What does Research show? 

The research study surveyed more than 24,000 heterosexual women with ages between 50 to 74 years old.  The most interesting part was that more than 4,000 women wrote comments. This gave researchers more insight to the root of the cause.   Although the most common reason for a decline in sexual intimacy was death or divorce (37%),  (male) partner’s health related-reasons were shockingly high.

  • 23% said the lack of sex was because of their partner’s physical problems.
  • 21% of women said their partners had lost interest in sex
  • 8% said their partner was too tired for sex
Happy Couple

That’s MORE THAN HALF of the time sex decline was not because of her, but because of the male partner in the relationship.

Here are some of the quoted comments in the study:

He does not maintain erection strong enough for penetration (after prostate surgery and diabetes). My sexual activity was limited by what my husband’s health is.” (Age 59)

My husband had a stroke which left him paralyzed and now sex is too difficult.” (Age 52).

“He drinks approximately 1 to 1.5 bottles of whiskey a day. Sex is once or twice a year.” (Age 56)

Only have sex twice a year maybe. My partner has lost his libido and never thinks of it, although he loves me and worries about it.” (Age 60)

If you have read my previous posts I am sure you are able to notice the common theme here:  low libido, poor physical health, lack of interest, too tired:  it all screams LOW TESTOSTERONE.


Now you might wonder where I’m going with this..  

Simple:  you, as a man, don’t have control of many things. But one thing you do have control of is your body.   Strokes, heart disease, diabetes, alcoholism, are all things you can prevent.  If you are young and sexually active, pay attention! Don’t let your health be the reason your wife/partner’s sex life declines.  And if you are reading this and think I am “preaching to the choir” and know you are part of the reason the intimacy in your relationship has declined,  re-take the reigns.   Get up, exercise, control your diabetes, take your blood pressure medications.  Your life (and your penis) depend on it. Talk to your partner and look for help.  There are experts that can help you both.

If you suffer from erectile dysfunction or low testosterone, call our office. We have all the tools to help restore your sexual health. We would be honored to be able to help you.  Our goal is to guide you towards a healthier lifestyle.

This article was authored by Dr. Jonathan Clavell. Dr. Clavell is a urologist who specializes in men’s health including erectile dysfunction, low testosterone, Peyronie’s Disease and BPH

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